To leave or to stay?
Reasons to leave:
The longer she waits, the harder it gets:
- the violence will escalate each time
- her self-confidence deteriorates
- continual fear paralyses her
- her health is suffering
She gains:
- confidence in her own strength
- strain decreases
- many mental and physical disturbances disappear
- she is no longer isolated, she can talk about it with others
- she has a future again
Reasons for staying:
- threats from the man
- material concerns
- fear of being unable to manage alone
- concerns about the children
- hope that he will change
- feeling ashamed about failing as a wife
- pity for the man - instead of for oneself
Temporary separation
You can also temporarily:
- move into a women’s shelter (Frauenhaus) or
- obtain a legal order that the abuser move out (Wegweisung)
Now that you are safe, you can
- o take time to think about what you really want
- negotiate with your husband/partner
- take legal action without exposing yourself to immediate danger
