(ATitel) First steps

AL2 	Custody of the children
AL3 	Certified medical statement
AL4 	Close bank accounts
AL5 	Immediate money
AL6 	Police registration + confidentiality of information
AL7 	
AL8 	Retrieving items from the apartment/house
AL9 	Changing schools or kindergardens
AL10	Children’s benefits
AL11 	Mail
AL12 	Loans + debts
AL13 	Looking for an apartment
AL 15	Important note

A1

When you leave your partner and have gone to a women's shelter (Frauenhaus) or private safe house, you will have to go to the proper 
authorities and submit official forms.

The items at the top of the list are to be done immediately!
Each task is explained and ordered according to its priority:

A2

Children remain with the mother
If you have fled with your children, you should immediately apply for the following:

A5  (in Germany)

Right to determine the children’s place of residence (Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht)
This is urgent. If the abuser goes to the child protective services office or family court before you, he can legally take the children away from you.

How?
In this application, you must describe the danger (e.g., children witness abuse, are abused themselves, the father threatens to abduct the children...).
Your partner will receive written notification about your application. You may, however, submit an application that he immediately be notified.

A6  (in Germany)

Where?
At the judicial application office at family court (Rechtsantragstelle im Familiengericht) which has jurisdiction over the children’s place of residence.

When?
Usually, the judicial application office (Rechtsantragstelle) is open only in the morning! If the children are in danger of being abducted, you may insist on a day judge (Tagesrichterin) – or, on Saturdays, for a judge on emergency duty (Richter-Notdienst) who can immediately issue a temporary injunction (einstweilige Verfügung).

R6

Certified medical statement (arztliches Attest)
A medical statement attesting injuries or a rape is an important piece of evidence in court. Lawful documentation of injuries is important, which means including an explanation of the connections between the causes and the injuries.
Even if you are not sure whether to report the abuser, a medical statement must be made immediately following the offence.

Injuries registered in the medical record (ärztliches Krankenblatt) can be certified at a later time.

R7

Where?
A medical statement can be written by your gynaecologist - ask him/her to preserve the evidence - or by a general practitioner. Any injuries that are not visible should be examined in a hospital emergency room.

Important:
During the examination, point out any injuries and impairments, no matter how small.

A9

Bank accounts
• If you have a bank account the abuser has access to, you must freeze all actions to that account immediately, and revoke his authorisation.

• Open your own bank account.
Seek legal advice on the amount of money that you are entitled to as support (Unterhalt) from your joint account.

• Jointly owned savings account (Sparbuch), stocks, securities (Wertpapiere), etc., should be secured and deposited somewhere safe. You should at least make 
copies in order to prove their worth later on.

A10

Immediate money

You need money. To flee. Because you are injured. Or because you are unable to work at the moment.

1. Application for support payments (Antrag auf Unterhaltsforderung)
should be issued to your partner by a lawyer experienced in family law. Your lawyer can also inform you about other legal consequences of a separation/divorce.

Many women's shelters and counselling centres offer legal counselling (Rechtsberatung) or can refer you elsewhere for legal counselling.

A11

2. Application for welfare payments (Arbeitslosengeld II)

The job center pays as a last resort, that is, the office first checks whether other offices/persons are under obligation to pay. This is why the job center sometimes requests that you first apply for support payments from your partner.

With few exceptions, foreigners receive no Supplementary Welfare Allowance; if they nevertheless receive this aid on a regular basis, their residence permits can be withdrawn.

A12

How?
Call your job center and ask which documents you must bring with you and which documents you may turn in later. Important papers are often still at the abuser's residence.

Describe your situation. Usually the office will then grant an immediate payment.

A13

Where?
At the job center for your place of residence.
If you are already on welfare (Arbeitslosengeld II) and you have moved, you should find out which job center is now responsible for you.

Ask for an appointment outside the official hours so your partner cannot wait and find you there.
Ask for your place of residence to be kept confidential (Aufenthaltsort geheim halten).

Unemployment compensation (Arbeitslosengeld II/ -hilfe)
Inform your job center/employment office about your new address and your new bank account.

A14

Police registration (polizeiliche Anmeldung) /
confidentiality of information (Auskunftssperre)
When you notify the police about your new place of residence (Wohnort), make sure to submit an application for confidentiality of information (Auskunftssperre). This means that no private individual - including your partner - will be able to find out where you live. To apply, briefly write down your reasons and submit this as your application (there is no application form).

Where?
In Germany, the registration office (Meldestelle) is either a police station or in the local public office (Bürgeramt) – inquire at the city hall (Rathaus).

A15

Retrieving items from the apartment/house

Do you need to collect personal belongings - documents, toys, school supplies, clothes - from the apartment/house? If so, ask the police to escort you (Begleitschutz). It is safer that way.
Even if the abuser is not at home, the police officers should remain with you.
Make a list ahead of time so that you do not forget something important, should you become nervous or upset.

A16  (Germany)

Where / How?
Call 110 and ask which police station has jurisdiction in the area where your former residence is located (zuständige Polizeiwache).

When you call that station, ask for the area officers on duty (Lagedienst).
Describe the danger you are in, and request an escort (Begleitschutz).
Then make an appointment.
You must prove that you are registered with the police (polizeilich gemeldet) as a resident of the living quarters in question.

Please note: The above is a voluntary service of the police. The police are not under any legal obligation to provide this service.

A18

Changing schools or kindergardens
If you have fled, you should consider enrolling your children in a new school or kindergarden. Otherwise, the abuser might wait and find you there – or even abduct the children. In order to apply for a change of address, you may require the father's consent if he also shares custody rights (depending on the legal specifications), but you can substitute this with a family law ruling.

Inform the staff who is allowed to pick up the children.

Important: You must immediately file an application for sole custody of the children at family court (Antrag auf alleiniges Sorgerecht beim Familiengericht); if not, the father has the right to pick up the children.

A20 (Germany)

Children’s benefits (Kindergeld)
can be obtained for children under 18 years of age and during their vocational training.
Mention that the children live with you.
Use your own, newly opened account to prevent the abuser from having access to the money.
It may take a long time before the money is transferred.

Where?
Family cash office at the employment office (Familienkasse, Agentur für Arbeit).
Civil servants and public employees receive the payment at their salary cash office (Besoldungskasse).

A21

Advance child support payments (Unterhaltsvorschuss)
If the father does not pay child support, you can obtain advance child support payments for children under 12 years old if you apply at your local youth welfare office (Jugendamt) – for a maximum period of 72 months. You can also apply for official guardianship of the child.

A22

Family allowance (Elterngeld)
This can be collected immediately after the birth of the child until it is 24 months old. Back payments can be made for up to 6 months retroactively.
You must apply for support for small children at the youth welfare office (Antrag auf Elterngeld beim Jugendamt).

A25

Mail
Make sure to have your personal mail sent to an alternative address, e.g. to friends, acquaintances, the women's shelter.

Abusers often destroy important mail or open letters thereby gaining access to important information, e.g., about your place of residence.

For your protection, your address can be maintained in a separate envelope by the police and for court records, so that your partner's attorney will not have access to it in written correspondence or during an inspection of the files.

Application forms for the automatic forwarding of your mail (Nachsendeantrag) are available at every post office. Fees are charged for this service.

A26

Loans, debts, and regular automatic money transfers (Daueraufträge)
Make a list of any regular automatic money transfers from your account that are still in effect.
Ask your bank about the appropriate action to take.

You should try to get out of any joint loans.
Talk with the bank about the situation. Make an appointment with the debtors' counselling office (Schuldnerberatung).

A27

Looking for housing / an apartment
Go to the local housing office (Wohnungsamt) and find out what housing is available and what you need to do.
You should give notice on the apartment which you had to leave, so as not to be liable for later rental debts.
You will require the signature of the abuser to do this. If he refuses to release you from the contract, you should describe the situation to the landlord. If you cannot come to an agreement with him, you must quickly submit a complaint against the abuser for an approval to give notice.

A28

You can apply for a certificate called a Wohnberechtigungsschein, or WBS at the housing office (Wohnungsamt). You’ll need the following papers:

•	a copy of your registration with the police (polizeiliches Melderegister)
•	a valid passport (Pass) or identity card (Personalausweis)
•	certificate that you and your partner live apart (Bescheinigung über das Getrenntleben), which is issued by your lawyer
•	birth certificates of children (Geburtsurkunden)
•	proof of income (welfare, unemployment compensation, wage, and salary documentation)
•	if applicable, a medical certificate of pending motherhood (Mutterpass) - as of the 15th week of pregnancy, an unborn child is entitled to a certain amount of space in its home).

The WBS is valid throughout the Federal Republic of Germany and entitles the bearer to move into a state-subsidised apartment (Sozialwohnung).

A29

Important note!

If the abuser knows which offices you are going to, protect yourself from being forced to see him by doing the following:

•	Try to arrange appointments outside regular office hours.
•	Bring someone you trust with you.
•	Inform the office staff about the danger.
•	Have someone call the police if the abuser threatens or follows you during your appointments with the authorities.

A30

Confidentiality!
You should request authorities not to give your current address to third parties (Adresse geheimhalten). A post office box address, e.g. of a women's shelter, is considered to be sufficient for a court summons and must be accepted by the authorities.

A31

Workplace

If you remain at your job, ask your superiors and colleagues not to provide the abuser with any information and to warn you if he is stalking you.

A32

Addresses

• women's counselling centres (Frauenberatungsstellen) / women's help lines (Frauennotruf), also in the nearest large city (telephone directory) and at: www.bv-bff.de
• women's shelters (Frauenhäuser), also in the nearest large city, often listed in telephone books under "Frauen helfen Frauen"; may also be requested from the women's shelter coordination office:
  Tel. 069/6706252 /-260

• Local women's or equal opportunity representatives, who can be reached through municipal administrations / city halls or district administration offices

• Police emergency no.: 110

• Court judicial application offices

• Men’s counselling services in larger cities: www.4uman.info/adressen.html

Other important addresses can be found on the following websites:
•	www.dajeb.de
•	www.frauenberatungsstellen.de
•	www.frauennotrufe.de